Don’t take things personally….we all do it at times…we hear the opinions of others and we are hurt by them. No one likes to be told something that they really don’t want to hear. In fact our instinctive reactions to negative feedback or opinions is to reject, ignore, or disagree with them. Still, we need an effective way to respond when we feel under attack. We need to start by remembering to always stand in our power. Each one of us must know ourselves so well, that we know our strengths, we know our opportunities, and yes we know our triggers and shortcomings. While it is difficult to stay in a conversation where someone is sharing an opinion that you don’t agree with…. they deserve to be listened to, they deserve your understanding of what they think and feel.
It doesn’t mean you have to accept abusive or inappropriate behaviour or even agree with them….but you have to listen to understand. Once you understand you can move forward…..and you move forward by asking yourself what is the 2% truth in what I am hearing? What elements of this feedback have been given to me before? What patterns do I seem to be presenting to the outside world? In these moments of reflection you will be challenged by your own feelings of hurt and sometimes anger…..stand in your power. You know who you are, what your values are, and how to live in alignment with them. So be your own public relations firm. Manage your personal brand and have boundaries for how you allow people to interact with you. Then sit quietly and wait. Let things happen, and you will know when to act and when to leave well alone.
Don Miguel Ruiz said “You gain a huge amount of freedom when you take nothing personally. No spell can affect you regardless of how strong it may be…..and if you live without fear. If you love, you will be happy with your life. Whatever people do, feel, think, or say – don’t take it personally. Others are going to have their own opinions according to their belief system, so whatever they think about you is not about you, but it is about them.”
By Lisa Scott Executive Coach