Don’t take things personally…….much of the drama we experience in our lives, comes from taking things personally. So we have to set personal boundaries, the imaginary lines that we draw around ourselves so that no one can cross either physically or emotionally, unless invited in. The more secure you become with your boundaries, the less power other people will have over you. The more clearly you defend your boundaries, the more you realize that other people’s stuff is more to do with them and less to do with you. To stop taking things personally is to truly find our power. For it allows us to filter the noise that seems to come in our direction, and make sense of it without allowing shame and guilt to take over.
We are all entitled to basic respect. Still, we can’t expect others to respect us, if we do not respect ourselves. Self-love, self-worth, and respecting self go hand in hand. You cannot have one without the other. Loving ourselves means that we have a clear picture of who we are, and what we are. When we know who we are, then we feel able to establish boundaries that are in keeping with that love and respect. Strong self-esteem means that we have determined what we will or will not accept from others. Once you have the lines drawn, it gets easier to stay behind them and be firm, resolute, strong, and assertive. So don’t take things personally…..only your ego wants you to do that. Instead sit quietly and wait, let things happen, and you will know when to act and when to leave well alone. Patience is a sign of wisdom.
Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. said “We do not need to defend ourselves or our beliefs against other people’s opinions and beliefs. Our only need is self-respect. When we have self-respect, we do not take what other people say and do personally. If we give in to the temptation to make someone else’s actions a personal affront, we have lost that self-respect by saying yes to their agreement. Once we do this, the attachment to this belief makes it necessary for us to switch our motive from one of defence to offense. With one shift, we can easily go from being victim to aggressor, which has a whole new set of consequences. By not taking things personally, we do not give in to our sense of personal importance and can therefore make decisions based on mutual respect, which will solve problems instead of making them worse.”
By Lisa Scott Executive/Life Coach