Today’s Challenge…..Take your troubles and let them teach you.
Doing your best means…….always trying to deliver the best you can, while realizing that you will never be perfect, and neither will anyone else. The most painful experience for a Coach is to watch someone who strives for perfection in all that they do. The levels of shame, and blame, and pain are often so strong that it is difficult for the person to see the way forward. Perfectionism is developed in childhood, where all the focus seems to be on striving for perfection, with our school work, our athletic efforts, and our friendships. We seem to celebrate success and we shame people for failure and less than stellar results. We have placed far too much importance on ‘the appearance” of things rather than teaching our young people resilience, problem solving, and acceptance.
We create artificial worlds where “everyone gets a ribbon for participating” while they’re in school, never to have that same experience in life, because life doesn’t work that way. We develop the habit of catching people doing things wrong, and we build our judgement muscles and then we become the perfection police. So we must understand the difference between healthy striving and trying to be perfect and teach it to our children. Because perfectionism actually hampers success. The way forward is to commit to always doing your best, in everything you do. That is far more satisfying and productive. Because, we become mindful by being present in our lives, moment by moment; the way we experience our moments is the way we spend our lives….and when we truly know and love ourselves, we step into our power.
Brene Brown said “Feeling shamed, judged, and blamed (and the fear of these feelings) are realities of the human experience. Perfectionism actually increases the odds that we’ll experience these painful emotions and often leads to self-blame. It’s my fault I’m feeling this way because “I’m not good enough.” To overcome perfectionism, we need to be able to acknowledge our vulnerabilities to the universe. When we become more compassionate with ourselves, and we begin to practice shame resilience, we can embrace our imperfections.”
By Lisa Scott Executive/Life Coach