Always do your best…….many of us have been touched by separation and divorce and our experiences were governed by how committed our parents were to giving us their best. That means they put us ahead of their own disappointment in the failure of their marriage. They recognized the collective wisdom that tells us, we need both of our parents to flourish in this life. They didn’t make their children choose between one parent or another, they didn’t make them defend one parent to another, and they knew that their children would be so much better for being raised with Love at the centre of their being rather than conflict.
For those who must manage the holidays between separated families……remember to think of the greater good. Make decisions based on what is best for the children, not what can hurt the absent parent the most. Using children as pawns in the game of life is irresponsible and it is the food that feeds their soul………it writes on the slate of who those children become, and it asks them to be adults in situations that are none of their business. So this holiday season and every day…..make choices that honour love, make choices that will help your children to grow into beautiful adults with warm hearts and the knowledge they gained from being raised by parents that love them. There is no greater gift than the gift of love…..for it brings security, faith, and trust that some things cannot change.
Iyanla Vanzant said “All little boys need guidance and direction from their father…..when a little boy doesn’t have a father to show him the way, he can never be quite sure about the manhood things he needs to know. He’s never quite sure about how strong is strong enough; how soft is too soft; or how much doing or giving is enough from a man’s point of view. Some little boys grow up never feeling quite sure about the things their fathers did not or could not teach them. A little girl needs a big strong Daddy to hold them, protect them and to let them know that they matter to him. They need a daddy who will talk to them, listen to them, who will speak up for them and teach them how to speak up for themselves. They need a daddy to tell them they are pretty, to demonstrate that they are valuable, to teach them that they are worthy and to acknowledge that they deserve respect.”