Always do your best…….Covey taught us to seek first to understand….and then to be understood. Yet listening to understand is as scarce as common sense. Most people trample over each other as they try to put their views and opinions into the mix and very often they don’t even try to understand other people because they need to win or be right. The things that determine our emotions and our behaviour is our beliefs about what is good and what is bad, what we should do, and what we must do. These precise standards and criteria are our life rules, and these rules are also our triggers.
Your rules are the court system in your head…..they are your judge and jury. They determine whether a certain rule is met and whether you will feel good or bad. While rules, beliefs, and values give us boundaries in our lives……we must recognize they are standards for ourselves, not for everyone else. They have their own rules. Our job is to seek to understand, to appreciate other points of view, and to accept that the only person we have control over with our rules is us. We do not need to have all of our beliefs accepted and approved or even shared ……we do need to listen to the views of others and we need to listen so well that we connect with their soul and spirit. Indeed, if you want to give yourself an opportunity to grow and heal, admit exactly what you are feeling to one other living person……
Stephen R. Covey said “People are very tender, very sensitive inside. I don’t believe age or experience makes much difference. Inside, even within the most toughened and calloused exteriors, are the tender feelings and emotions of the heart. The Golden Rule says to “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” While on the surface that could mean to do for them what you would like to have done for you. I think the essential meaning is to understand them deeply as individuals, the way you would want to be understood, and then to treat them in terms of that understanding. The more deeply you understand other people, the more you will appreciate them, the more reverent you will feel about them.”