Happy Friday. Have a great day and an awesome weekend. Enjoy.
Always do your best……you will never shame anyone into changing their behaviour. When you communicate and make it a personal attack, you say so much more about yourself and your brand, than the person you are communicating with. That is why we are taught to focus on the situation, the issue, or the behaviour not on the person when we offer feedback. We must have boundaries to our communication style and when we give feedback, it needs to preserve the self-esteem and self-confidence of that person while helping them to make productive change. Shaming them, and making it personal is adult bullying and it will only break down the relationship, not build it up.
Throughout our lives if we’re open to growth, development, and learning, we will evolve and refine our communication skills. So we must have compassion for people who are doing the same. We can’t put them in the vault, and label them for eternity because they had a bad day, because we all have bad days. We all have days when we are frustrated, or tired and therefore not at our best. Give people room to be human. Hold them accountable, but do so without destroying their self=esteem. We optimize people’s productivity when we have compassion; when we can separate them from their behaviour. This allows them to feel valued, connected, and engaged. So be mindful when you offer someone feedback; and stand up for people when you observe less than stellar communication. The real measure of your humanity is in your soul and how you engage your world.
Brene Brown said “I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship. We are wired for connection. It’s in our biology. From the time we are born, we need connection to thrive emotionally, physically, spiritually, and intellectually. It is hard for us to understand that we can be compassionate and accepting while we hold people accountable for their behaviours. We can confront someone about their behaviour without putting them down. The key is to separate people from their behaviour. For our own sake , we need to understand that its dangerous to our relationships and our well being to get mired in shame and blame or to be full of self-righteous anger.”
By Lisa Scott ~ Executive/Life Coach