Don’t assume……….that just because someone knows you, cares for you, or even loves you, that they know what you are thinking and feeling. More often than not….we find ourselves frustrated, angry, or hurt because someone did something, or didn’t do something and then we take it personally. We create all kinds of drama and it is all in our heads. Our thinking and fretting is contained in our mind with thoughts of how we have been wronged….and all of that drama is because somebody has broken one of our rules. A rule that nine times out of ten we haven’t even communicated….but because these people know us, we expect them to know our rules.
Not fair, if you want to take control of your life, if you want to do well in business, if you want solid relationships with your kids, your partner, and your friends…..you need to communicate your rules…and you need to understand theirs. Rules act as lightning rods in our relationships if they are not shared with those around us and re-evaluated from time to time to see if they are still worthy. High self-esteem comes from feeling like you have some semblance of control over the events in your life. If you have too many rules, then the law of averages suggests the chances of them being violated are greater. Which means that you will be in a continual state of stress that affects you, and everyone around you. So be more conscious of your rules….make sure you haven’t created a world of stress because of them…..while your ego will say that’s ok…..it’s not.
Anthony Robbins said “Think about the last time you were upset with someone. Was it really about them, or was it about something they did, or said, or failed to do that you thought they ought to? Were you angry at them, or were you angry because they violated one of your rules? At the base of every emotional upset you’ve ever had with another human being is a rules upset. Somebody did something, or failed to do something, that violated one of your beliefs about what they must or should do. Rules should be designed to empower our relationships, not destroy them. Don’t expect people to live by your rules if you’re not willing to compromise and live by some of theirs.”