Always do your best……make sure you reflect often. One of the most difficult lessons that we learn in life is; if you want a relationship to get better, if you want to be more symbiotic with those around you, then you must look at yourself. You only have control over your own actions. So we must dig deep and ask ourselves what could I do differently in this relationship that would make it better? What opportunities do I have to show more respect? How can I help this person without damaging their self-esteem and their self-confidence? We have to decide to lead, and then we have to decide that change is possible, beginning with us. In most of the difficult and challenging relationships we have a pattern. A pattern of getting angry and frustrated, but then we never go beyond our anger.
We never seek out new ways of being and thinking. We hit the wall and we stop…and we sit in our anger and frustration and we do nothing. The way out is challenging, because we must ask ourselves…what am I doing that is creating situations that make me angry? We must remind ourselves; the more you are critical, the more critical people will be. The more frustrated and angry your behaviour, the more you will be sent situations that make you angry and frustrated. We get, what we give with astounding accuracy. The same is true of good feelings. When we show that we believe in people, that they can get where they need to….then we are giving them a head start by seeing them as they can be, versus as they are. Today, sow courtesy, reap friendship, plant kindness, and harvest love. A single candle can light many others; and so it is with people.
Louise Hay said “If you really want to know how stubborn you are, just approach the idea of being willing to change. We all want to have our lives change, to have situations become better and easier, but we don’t want to have to change. We would prefer that they change. In order to have this happen, we must change inside. We must change our way of thinking, change our way of speaking, change our way of expressing ourselves. Only then will the outer changes occur. Each old layer must give way in order to be replaced with new thinking. Some of it is easy, and some of it is like I’m trying to lift a boulder with a feather.”
By Lisa Scott ~ Executive/Life Coach