Bring your best self to every interaction…….always be constructive, and be impeccable with your words. Every day as a coach, I hear of people dealing with tough situations in the work place. Most of the time they are typical of organizational behaviour and they can be resolved easily. At other times they are difficult, emotional, and they take time to work through. This is because they are coming up against people who believe that adding a little venom to their feedback will make the point. These people do not use balanced feedback. They are not interested in preserving the self-esteem and self confidence of those around them. In fact they are oblivious to the effect that their words create.
There is an arrogance to their communications and they have no filter. They are so attached to their own beliefs, and their primary goal is to win the argument or to be right. So the lesson here is to not take them personally. Instead ask yourself what is the 2% truth in what I am hearing and then work quietly on understanding and responding to that. It is important for us to understand that while we can have a difference of opinion, and an intelligent discourse about those opinions. You diminish your effectiveness when you use evaluative feedback and make judgmental references to the other persons point of view. You present as argumentative when you dismiss other points as fiction and claim your information as the truth. Great leaders are aware of the effect they create….and so they are always impeccable with their words
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer said “Every moment that you spend upset, in despair, in anguish, angry, or hurt because of the behaviour of anybody else is a moment in which you’ve given up control of your life. Enlightened people move away from conflict and confrontation. If you practice maintaining your composure , and remember that someone else’s behaviour belongs to that person and cannot upset you unless you allow it to do so, then you will not become an unwilling target.”
By Lisa Scott Executive/Life Coach