Thought for the Day ~ Don’t make Assumptions

Always do your best……..don’t make assumptions. Be aware that whenever “should” enters into our dialogue with either ourselves or others we are sitting in judgment.  When you  use “should” with people you are evaluating, you are judging and you are looking at their actions, not understanding their motives, and making all kinds of assumptions about why they do what they do.  From your lofty seat you have decided they “should” know better, they “should” behave better, or they “should” be better.  All that judgment and that is before you have even engaged in conversation with them.  So the wrong you attribute to them, actually belongs to you.

When we are in judgment of others, we have given our ego free reign to make a decision, that the way things are, is not the way things need to be.  There is an arrogance to this conduct, a determination by the person that their way, is the best way.  Doing this shuts down creativity, defeats the spirit of those they engage, begins to set up a pattern of judgment and of making assumptions.  So, if you need something, then you have to communicate your needs and expectations.  Don’t make people guess what they are, and then when they fail to meet them, chastise them because they didn’t get it right.  In a strong relationship we can say what we need, and what we want, if we can’t, then it is not a relationship, it is an arrangement. Today commit to not making assumptions……and the way to start doing that, is to ask some questions.

Don Miguel Ruiz said “In any kind of relationship we can make the assumption that others know what we think, and we don’t have to say what we want.  They are going to do what we want because they know us so well.  If they don’t do what we want, what we assume they should do, we feel hurt, and think “How could you do that? You should know.”  Again, we make the assumption that the other person knows what we want.  A whole drama is created because we make this assumption and put more assumptions on top of it.  We have the need to justify everything, to explain and understand everything, in order to feel safe. It is not important if the answer is correct; just the answer makes us feel safe.  This is why we make assumptions.”

 By Lisa Scott ~ Executive Coach @