Emotional Intelligence matters…..because if it is under developed…everyone knows it. Self awareness is the cornerstone for developing ourselves throughout our lives. In fact the best leaders reflect often, they embody humility, they take responsibility when things go off the rails, and they consistently recognize the great work going on around them every day. Being emotionally intelligent isn’t just about mastering ones interpersonal skills. It is about operating from a mindful place. Because we are going to have all kinds of feelings that will keep us thinking; the emotionally intelligent among us will first express those thoughts to ourselves, especially when they are negative and potentially destructive. This allows us to think out loud. It is in essence a way to evaluate whether our current thoughts are in any way distorted or emotionally charged.
In this state we must always be diligent about not making hasty decisions or speaking out loud where we will reveal our state of mind. Sometimes to our own detriment. Being present will allow us to let the thoughts come, to evaluate and sort them, and to only take action when we are clear. It is ok to share our feelings with people we trust. Everyone of us needs a loved one, a close confidant, or a coach who will listen, understand, and then offer us a different point of view. These different perspectives help us to overcome early conditioning. Because the emotions you have are always tied closely to your beliefs, and your ego and the need to be right. So today as you get ready for your day….think about what you will let go of, what you are grateful for, and what you will focus on today. Mindfulness and awareness are bridges between reaction and conscious choice.
Deepak Chopra said “In order to bond effectively with others, you must be emotionally free. This means first of all, being free of guilt, resentment, grievances, anger, and aggression. You aren’t required to be perfect, only to be clear about your own underlying feelings. We all have negative emotions, but a leader deals with them effectively, for the good of the group. They don’t give mixed signals or indulge in outbursts or moods…and if they do they make amends quickly. Only with clarity can you trust yourself emotionally and have others trust you.”
By Lisa Scott Executive Life Coach