Always do your best…..shaming people never serves us. Primarily because it speaks more to who we are than the people we are shaming. Comments that denigrate and erode people’s sense of value will never motivate them to take action and perform excellently. We all have psychological needs that need to be met in order for us to flourish. We are hard wired for connectivity so one of the most important needs we have as a human being is to belong and to be valued. Shaming and belittling does the opposite of this, it destroys our sense of value and safety and completely removes any sense of trust. In this culture people are not efficient or effective, they’re scared.
So there needs to be a commitment to civility and inclusive language so that everyone can sense they’re on the team and in the boat, oars in the water. Just as we would with a bully, we have to have boundaries and speak up when people use words, comparisons, and tones that belittle. To not stand up for what is right, is to subjugate ourselves, as we endure the very things we detest. Braving the wilderness means standing in your power and modeling strong leadership by making the most generous assumption about the people around us. Peace does not come to us by avoiding trouble; it is a calm resilience that comes when we are brave and we look conflict in the eye.
Brene Brown said “Belonging is being somewhere you want to be, and they want you. Fitting in is being somewhere where you really want to be, but they don’t care one way or the other. It is important for us to build a culture that supports true belonging. If leaders really want people to show up, speak out, take chances, and innovate, we have to create cultures where people feel safe. Where their belonging is not threatened by speaking out and they are supported when they make the decision to brave the wilderness, stand alone, and speak truth to bulls#$t. It’s easy to underestimate the importance of civility at work, but new research shows just how crippling incivility can be for teams and organizations.”
By Lisa Scott ~ Executive Life Coach
The Thought for the Day will return Tuesday May 22nd, 2018 ~ Have a great long weekend.