Happy Tuesday. Have an amazing day. Enjoy.
Always do your best…….take shaming and blaming out of your leadership tool kit. While it might seem like an expedient way to get people to change and perform….it is not. Shaming and blaming can suck the life out of a family, an organization, and its culture.. It erodes the self-esteem and the self confidence of its victims. It takes the wind out of their sails and makes it challenging to stay on course. Shaming people is a destructive force invented by bullies. So we all need to build our shame resistance because there are bullies around every corner. They have been taught that being powerful, and arrogant are necessary for success. That making people feel less than adequate will somehow make them dig deep and bring out their brilliance. Nothing could be further than the truth.
People need to feel valued for their contributions. They need to feel a sense of belonging and most of all they need to feel a sense of gratitude for their unique skills, and abilities. People who make others feel wanted, valued, and appreciated have mastered the art of leadership. They know that their true power lies in leaving people better than they find them. Not everyone has learned these valuable lessons and so we must be compassionate with ourselves when we face the bullies. We must remember who we are; and stand in our power. Because then we are protected. The bully can try to make us feel that we are not valuable or needed but we know better. We know that to succeed we must stay committed to doing our best. We all have an equal share in possibility. Everyone of us, has seeds of greatness….they just need some water, and some sunshine.
Brene Brown said “This is your fault. This is all my fault. We are a culture obsessed with finding fault and assigning blame. Holding ourselves or others accountable is a good thing, but blame and accountability are very different. I think the difference between accountability and blame is very similar to the relationship between guilt and shame. Like guilt, accountability is most often motivated by the desire to repair and renew…it is a holding someone responsible for his actions and the consequences of his actions. On the other hand, we often use blame to discharge over whelming feelings of fear and shame. Inherent in holding ourselves or others accountable for our behaviour is expecting change or resolution. Like shame, blame shuts people down and is not an effective leadership tool for change.”
By Lisa Scott ~ Executive Life Coach